i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
