Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
