Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
