My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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