sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
