I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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