omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
