Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
