how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
