This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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