i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
