i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize