omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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