theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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