Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
