i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
