Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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