She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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