The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
