U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
