I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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