PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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