Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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