Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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