wat bout pragnant strippers??
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nutella sex= disaster
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
