Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
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