We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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