i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
one might say we're banned from that church
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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