i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
