marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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