he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
