loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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