one two three fourrrrnication!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
