She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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