At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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