It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize