Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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