I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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