can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
