So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
