he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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