there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
