I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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