for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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