Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
