if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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