I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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