im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize