Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
being pregnant is like rehab
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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