he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
