Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
