My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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