Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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