he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
