So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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