a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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