what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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