Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she smelled like a LAN party
birth control should be required to get into college
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
