I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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