I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
